Illustrations for 'Germany: a Cautionary Tale'

Happy 2015, Europe

Christmas caricatures for Berlaymonster

Beppe Grillo (as the Elf)

 

Marine Le Pen (Nightmare before Christmas)

 


Viktor Orban (Wallace) & Nigel Farage (Scrooge McDuck)

 


Matteo Renzi (Kermit), Francois Hollande (Charlie Brown) & Angela Merkel (Fairy Godmother)

 


Mario Draghi (Grinch), Jean-Claude Juncker (Mr Bean), Donald Tusk (Genie) & Martin Schulz (Gizmo)

 

Joseph Daul MEP (Shrek)

Illustration for EUobs

Assad, Kim Jong-un, Ahmadinejad

"Wack-a-mole of evil": illustration for EUobserver

Illustrations for Visegrad Insight magazine



Viktor Orban

Illustrations for Visegrad Insight magazine, Warsaw, for their coverage of the May 2014 elections:

 

Nigel Farage

Central Europe's prime ministers and presidents

Superheroes: candidates for EU-2014

 



 

 

 



Helle Thorning-Schmidt as Nebula

 

Fredrik Reinfeldt as Antman; Enda Kenny as Dum Dum Duggan; Mario Monti as Flash Gordon; Jose Zapatero as Phantom

Dalia Grybauskaitė as Asbestos Girl; Alexander Stubb as The Joker

Nicolas Sarkozy as Boomerang; Carl Bildt as Thor; Pascal Lamy as Patriot

 

 

 

Anders Fogh Rasmussen as Iron Fist; Christine Lagarde as Husk

 

 

 

 



David Cameron as Bug

 

Angela Merkel as King Pin; Francois Hollande as Captain America

Daniel Hannan as Hindsight Lad

 

 

Beppe Grillo as the Hypnohustler; Marine Le Pen as Revanche; Geert Wilders as Hairball

Godfrey Bloom as Frankenstein's Monster

 

 

Viktor Orban as Red Ghost

Nigel Farage as Bloke

 

 

 

 

Mario Draghi as Prof. X; Martin Schulz as Spiderman; Joseph Daul as Mojo

Vivienne Reding as Hawkeye



Choose your own Commission President

 

 

 

Towards the end of 2014, the EU gets a new Commission president. The European Parliament has demanded that he or she should be chosen from a pool of candidates standing in this May's EU-wide elections. On this principle, the frontrunners would be: Jose Bove (Green), Guy Verhofstadt (Liberal), Jean-Claude Juncker (Christian Democrat), Martin Schulz (Socialist), Ska Keller (more Green), Alexis Tsipras (Left). Don't worry if you've never heard of them, because soon you won't hear about much else: most governments are dead-set against the principle. Herman Van Rompuy who chairs their summits has spoken out against the principle. A battle is brewing. Next month, we'll profile them and the rest of the fabulous array of characters vying to fill positions in Brussels.

 

EU Presidents: Barroso - Sarkozy - Schulz - Van Rompuy

Jose-Manuel Barroso - Nicolas Sarkozy - Martin Schulz - Herman Van Rompuy

"President of Europe" has a nice ring to it, inspiring historical personalities from Adolf to Tony. Aware perhaps of the dangers of this kind of unwanted leadership, the European Union likes to have at least four at any one time, all competing with each other. Right now, there is Jose-Manuel Barroso, chosen as Commission President because the French and Germans wanted someone with an opinion of their own, so to speak. There is the president of the European Parliament, the abrasive europhile Martin Schulz. And there is Herman Van Rompuy, who presides over the summits of national leaders. The low-key Van Rompuy reminds us of Paul the Octopus, the creature that successfully predicted the outcome of the matches in the 2010 World Cup: Herman may well be a shy and brilliant creature, or may just be pretending. Finally, there is the so-called rotating national president - the head of state or government of each member state presides over the EU for six months in turn. The tiggerish French President Sarkozy may have left the political stage in Paris now, but he is included here because he enjoyed the role so much that he managed to extend it by years. Go Sarko, go! No really, go.

With apologies to: Mighty Mouse; Tigger; the Great Dictator; Paul the Octopus

Euro-Populists: Le Pen - Wilders - Soini - Farage

Jean-Marie Le Pen - Geert Wilders - Timo Soini - Nigel Farage

Ah, those brave truth-tellers, Le Pen, Wilders, Soini and Farage. Le Pen is the founder of France's Front National; Farage is the leader of the UK Independence Party; Wilders, with his lovely blond mane of hair, is the founder of the Dutch Party for Freedom; Soini, strangely reminiscent of Nordic Europop favourites Lordi, is co-founder of the True Finns. The populists are clever people who bring out the worst in all of us.

With apologies to: the two-headed muppets; Struwwelpeter; Lordi

Eminences Grises: Welle - Begg - Laitenberger - Juncker

Klaus Welle - Iain Begg - Johannes Laitenberger - Jean-Claude Juncker

In the popular imagination, Brussels is stuffed full of grey and faceless bureaucrats. Wrong. In reality the town has remarkably few. And that is precisely its problem. Nowhere else on the planet is there such a concentration of flamboyant, over-enthusiastic officials. If only they were grey and faceless, the EU might be a little less hyperactive. One such is Klaus Welle, head of the European Parliament's secretariat. He cut his teeth running election campaigns for the German Christian Democrats and runs the secretariat in the same methodically divisive spirit. He probably won't be winning any popularity polls, but then he doesn't have to. Laitenberger, as President Barroso's chief aid, is a German with a Portuguese background, a brain in a suit. As for Begg, he is an academic rather than a bureaucrat, but the Brit embodies much the same spirit and works on the EU's gold, in a spirit of greyness. Last up is the oblique Juncker. Juncker is the man who presides over the Eurogroup, the political muscle behind the Euro currency. He's from Luxembourg and he likes a drink.

With apologies to: Freddie Mercury's moustache; My Preciouses; perpetual desktop motion; Bender

European Commissioners: Reding - Lewandowski - Piebalgs - Malmstrom

Viviane Reding - Janusz Lewandowski - Andris Piebalgs - Cecilia Malmstrom

The European Commission, whose happy task it is to propose EU laws and make sure they are implemented, is steered by politicians from each of the 28 member states. These Commissioners must be sufficiently disliked at home for their government to want to exile them to Brussels, but sufficiently robust and patriotic to achieve national goals. Luxembourg's hyperactive Reding is the lady spends her time bullying the French. Lewandowski, the Pole given charge of the EU's budget gave his country a good settlement. Piebalgs, the cheerfully monochrome physicist from Latvia, has made little impact, but at least has not ruined anything. And Malmstrom, the Swedish former nurse, has thwarted Europe's most hawkish interior ministers as Commissioner for home affairs. Champagne all round then. 

With apologies to: Snow White, Sleepy, Doc and Happy

Jokers: Berlusconi - Cowen - Oettinger - Brok

Silvio Berlusconi - Brian Cowen - Gunther Oettinger - Elmar Brok

Euro-politics is really Euro-pop - silly costumes, national stereotypes and heavily accented English. But underestimate these larger than life characters at your peril. Silvio Berlusconi, the former Italian PM is still capable of launching. Brian Cowen, his Irish counterpart, retained power despite the critical situation in his country and his own drunken behaviour. And Oettinger, the EU Commissioner for energy, who was shunted off to Europe by Chancellor Merkel in one of her regular political clear-outs, has been a quietly effective lobbyist for German interests. But the connoisseur's joker has to be Elmar Brok. This provincial German, with his gratuitous moustache, has defined the EU's and Germany's policies for years. The joke's on you, Europe.

With apologies to: bald clowns; simple clowns; puppets; hulk

Geo-strategists: Ashton - Gadaffi - Rumsfeld - Kissinger

Catherine Ashton - Muammar Gaddafi - Donald Rumsfeld - Henry Kissinger

The British, in their quiet way, have long suggested that European states should aspire to a more coherent foreign policy. They have had some vocal supporters along the way - Kissinger, the slippery US war-monger, and Donald Rumsfeld for instance. Moreover, a long line of international problems, from the Kosovo crisis to Libya, has reinforced the British point. Now, with the rise of China and the onset of global multipolarity, their argument seems to have caught on. "Speaking with one voice" on international affairs has become something of a mantra. Best of all, the UK now has a Brit, Catherine Ashton, as EU Commissioner for external relations, the closest thing the EU has to a foreign minister. A dream come true for London? Err, well no. In a triumph for "Europeanisation", the British are now the EU's most provincial and inward-looking nation. Ashton, meanwhile, has become the bloc's punchbag. 

With apologies to: the rest of the world; embarrassing friends; The Mekon; the Man-of-War jelly fish